1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes
inverse.
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
8.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling
down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner
10. When a clock is hungry,
it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine
was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN
down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of
money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to
beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21 The
short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When
you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a
Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she
saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade
bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate
clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
And might I add...
It is better to have loved a short woman than to never have loved a tall.
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