2.  A will is a dead giveaway.

3.  Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4.  A backward poet writes inverse.

5.  In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; 
      in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6.  A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7.  If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get  repossessed.

8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner

10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21 The short fortune teller who escaped from prison:  a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

       

        And might I add...

        It is better to have loved a short woman than to never have loved a tall.