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1. A day
without sunshine is like ........ night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7
percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression
is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
in
the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A
clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in
psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming
your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now
17.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask
you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck
happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than
sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box
of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow
Hope you got
a laugh out of this...
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